So I'm at the Chevron by your house. I need a condom and a couch.
Together?
Preferably.
don't you miss dr. quinn: medicine woman? i do.
I cant even remember his name or what he looked like. all I remember is what the tattoo on his forearm looked like.
well, he kindof looked like a walmart greeter. I tried to stop you
i've learned that i'm good at stealing things. like live cats.
You texted me "Americans are sad" and "chicken coop disaster" without any further explanation.
If you like her enough, bring her with. If not, eloquently cunt punt that bitch through the field goals of life.
I take your giggles as a yes to operation McLaxitives?
bring the dog... nobody goes to jail with a dog.
did i send you the picture of me smiling with the magnum wrapper?
Some days you just pee in a stairwell and go home.
I seriously doubt I'm gonna be able to properly put your dick in my mouth whilst upside down, but I'm willing to give it my best shot
I feel like I just did it with Buster from Arrested Development. Taking a shower. #winefail
He's good looking but he really sounds like kermit the frog, can you imagine how fucking him would sound like?
I think every girl deserves a pregnancy scare. Because then it just feels like such a priviledge to be bleeding out of the vagina.
I legit just did a jig towards my box of tampons.
I just bought two 8 Balls of Coke from the chick nurse that stitched my leg together in the ER after my bike accident last summer.
Randomize
