He has such a weird drunk-voice.
dude, he's deaf.
so are u like ashamed lol?
not really. i dont look at it as being homeless. im just going to pretend im on an extended camping trip
i find it a beautiful talent that i know how much pubic hair the girl in the next stall has just from the sound of her urine
During sex she told me I could do anything I wanted to her. You remember that toy lightsaber we bought at Wal Mart?
Whoever said drinking more helps a hangover didn't drink 96% of a fifth of whiskey last night. This is absurd.
so how was last night?
got high and had our usual talk about the definition of cole slaw. then tried to call the ramen noodle company and convince them why my face should be on thier packages.
Just got complimented on my chugging... Car bombs show how good I am at swallowing, they should be my new pickup line.
We found her on a strangers doorstep chanting "I know someone will let me in" it took 2 of us to drag her to the car.
Idk. I was speaking metaphorically. Go for it. As one of your bad decisions, I feel confident in saying you've done worse.
The school security guard knows my name.... I think I'm missing some memories...
So my booty call knows your bf. Apparently they were in jail together
That moment when a stripper is the one that makes the two of you have to define the status of your relationship...
I bought the restaurant a boat airhorn to wake up sleeping employees.
I love you
All I'm saying is this is the exact reason I should not be left unsupervised.
You drunkenly told one of the campus security guards that you liked his headset. In return he introduced himself, lit your cig, and told us that if anyone was giving us shit to call and ask for him... Best campus security ever.
Randomize
