he just texted me two pictures of his dick. i feel i should rethink whatever vibe im obviously giving out
so is it as big as he says?
he put a tube of toothpaste next to it as a reference. it looks legit
Just asked what her favorite part of a guys body is. She said ballsack. I'm in love.
its like an ocean threw up right in your lap
I wish they had a "No Yankees" filter on status updates.
Whoever decided putting Tom Seizmore and Heidi Fleiss together in rehab should win some kind of award.
i just did the math...im a product of my mothers birthday sex
I passed out in the stadium during the 4th quarter and you guys just left me there?
Yea, but we put money for a cab in your pocket.
i feel like the 7 eleven by your house knows our deepest, darkest secrets
So, seriously. How does it feel to know that you're riding a cock that was in kindergarten when you were going to prom?
By this time next year I expect us to have full time jobs that we can call out of so we can day drink on beautiful days like this. Oh, and grill.
For Halloween this year I'm going to paint myself in gold, wear a golden toga and sash saying " cunt goddess"
Because of my cut offs, my brother is convinced I fucked a girl so hard she forgot to take her pants. Fairly accurate.
I am going to go Miley Cyrus crazy if I don't get sex soon
Headline in the alligator: young zeta goes berserk after lack of sex and is found naked swinging from wrecking ball on university ave, refuses to get down until sex partner is found
So you don't take a regular pic with her, but you take a selfie with her ass. Interesting...
I want to conceive our bastard child on an athletic field. Why can't we make this happen?
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