Chris' response to jim throwing up was taking off his shirt and saying WHO WANTS A BONER
Just waterfalled in the movie theatre... this is the beginning to a good night
"Take a picture of me motorboating molly" was probably not my best career move
I think she's a little more wasted than usual. She just crawled on the floor to tell mom it was time to take a shot.
Preparing for thanksgiving at home now by chugging bourbon. Less than a month to train!
That penis you're staring at is the penis of heartbreak. Stay away. It will break your heart AND keep you away from other penises. BACK. OFF. THE PENIS.
He sent me a picture of his dick with a cowboy hat on it.
good news: I made it out of bed and into shower. Bad news: I made it back to bed without clothes. Worse news: I don't know this bed.
I woke up to find that chris drank one of my contacts.
Yeah he's good at that.
Life just isn't the same without him waking me up at 4 in the afternoon with a look of pity on his face...
So the dude who sold me my english book is the same guy who let me punch him in the face in exchange for a cig at a party a few weeks ago. small world huh ?
He fed us edamame like baby birds. Slowly all coming back to me.
Just discovered evidence of drunken eBay bid. Drunk Mike did pretty good -- I'm getting a new sleeping bag.
A guy just grabbed my balls before he shook my hand because he thought he knew me.
Two of the boys I banged while living in that house are about to move into it hahhaaha
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