thought so. i woke up and he was playing with my eyeliner. I MAKE GREAT CHOICES.
Apparently throwing up on his dick didnt convince him to stay away . . . whats the most indirect way of saying "im just going to continue avoiding you"?
I love my grandma, but if I have to sit and watch one more show on Bravo, I'm gonna burn her fuckin house to the ground
Nothing screams don't date me louder then having your baby as your profile pic
My costume is made up of 4 inch heels and a firefighter costume I'm borrowing from the dramatic play area of my Pre-K classroom. I told you I could still be slutty on a teacher's salary.
We have video of him nailing the sex doll to my wall and putting all the monopoly pieces in her nose
Ive made peace with the fact that i will accomplish nothing except liver damage today
I've reached the point to where my pre-gaming needs to be limited to pre-inning-ing
Yeah her jello shots are the next closest thing to a lethal injection. That potent.
He told me he loved me. I didn't know what to say so i just squirted the baby oil at him
don't act like you've never hung your towel on your dick after getting out of the shower
Trimming my pubes at 1 AM, drunk, listening to Stevie Ray Vaughn. What has become of me.
Jesus christ stop updating me about every aspect of your life.
Please tell me that all of the things I remember doing last night didn't really happen. Please.
Cat needed to get out last night. Walking to the door was too much effort so I encouraged (pushed) him to leave via window.
Isn't your room on the second floor?
Let's just say when I woke up I was still drunk. My hangover hit me around noon so I chilled w my dad and took a bath and shower at the same time. You just can't do that at college
Randomize
