I was able to overlook the Affliction tee until he took it off and there was another tattooed on his body.
Was it at least attractive minus the Gargoyles or skulls... or whatever affliction is putting out these days?
Even a greek god couldn't pull it off. Told him I like Ed Hardy Better. Death Before Dishonor, baby. I'm sure it was a painful blow. hopefully he understands sarcasm.
I just had a dream where Bob Saget recognized me from when I hung out with him in a dream I had months ago.
the "its better than getting an actual virus from an actual porn star" argument failed.
She insisted on fucking on the futon mattress on the floor, answered the phone call from her boyfriend who was on his way to pick her up, and then had the audacity to ask if I was clean
are you aware you chucked your pizza at a girl's face after the bar last night?
we are torturing ourselves with these mediocre cocks
when someone at the bar asked you a question all you knew how to say was "chug-a-lug"
I let him watch sportscenter while we fucked. How did he repay me? I'm now missing class to get a shot in the ass for the clap. You and I are getting wasted and keying someone's car this weekend.
No, I know her type. Tall, lanky, uses teeth when giving head, and runs like a giraffe. Don't do it man..
My mom sucked on that joint like a nipple and she was a fucking newborn
I really don't want to get drunk alone tonight. Like, I'll do it, but I won't enjoy it.
I had the choice between 9 burritos and 1 girl...
And...?
Dude on a beach in sicily and a blonde jesus just smoked us out and then tried to makeout with me I am never leaving this place
I am now banned from the bar... Because you got head from my ex in the woman's restroom
Omg I just smoked and it was the end so I basically got resin and death, my throat feels like the twilight vampire description of their thirst for blood
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