nothing cures the holiday blues like an open bar
I only want to screw him when I'm drunk. Problem is I try to be drunk as often as possible
Dude between pissing everywhere and all of those frogs, that bathroom got wrecked.
Just once, I'd like to hook up with a girl that doesn't look like she's having a near-fatal seizure when I give her an orgasm.
I keep telling myself that if Britney can make it through 2007, I can make it through this date.
He crawled outside into the bushes to throw up. He's just laying there now but he says he'll be ready to come home if we just give him five
Lesson: Never rollerskate with a 40 in your hand unless you have a destination.
for some reason leaving your socks onmakes it less meaningful.
When you're done railing that chick, there is still half a pizza and some ninja turtle mac and cheese down here if you want
you ever just feel like an organ is failing?
By far the fardest thing to do drunk is open a band aid
But no. So do not give him one damn penny. Unless they are in a sock and you are hitting him with it.
He passed out before we could have sex. I had no choice but to use his boner to hold my onion rings.
how do i say "cradle the balls" in Italian
Just make sure you put pants on
....then im not going
Randomize
