I don't even have to sign up for karaoke at duncans anymore. The karaoke ppl just sign me up themselves. Without my consent. I also sang stacys mom to some lady named Stacy who's mom died yesterday.
I think he just gave me the 'I used to fuck your sister' discount
The saltiness of my tears mix perfectly with the tequila.
Why does he only make me orgasm when I'm about to break up with him?
I wanted to take a shower but I forgot we made applesauce in it last night.
Are you around on Saturday? Feeling a trip over
Wet with either fear or sexual excitement
I think a mixture of both is appropriate
Having vodka and cokes for lunch at work today because absolutely ZERO fucks are being given.
I think a kid would responsible me up
I hooked up with a guy dressed as Justin Timberlake, while dressed as Britney Spears. Fuck Jessica Biel, all my 90's dreams are coming true.
Cassie is wearing a baseball cap. This rebound is going nowhere
She is so graceful and lady-like, like a swan... On meth
I should not be so motivated by a penis, but I am
2014 decided to stick it to me one last time. Right up the ass.
you told me you wanted to be a soccer mom with a high tolerance then you put the bottle to your face
I’m gonna slowly take you in my mouth and push you deep into my throat so my lips are right up against your body and then I’m gonna fucking bite your shit off if one more of our friends shows me a snap you took while I was giving you head. Are we clear?
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