Sex on a kitchen table is not as amazing as they make is seem in the movies.
so for future reference,at what point did you feel like a line had been crossed?
apparently there was a flour fight and couch sex...
the head trauma was worth the blowjob.
I didn't want to have to tell you this, violating our brother/sister code not to discuss these things but: for the love of christ stop inviting that 21 year old idiot I slept with for six months to EVERY PARTY WE THROW.
Which one of you fuckers thought itd be funny to see if the kitchen table can float.
Naw. I'm tired and I'd have to shave my legs. I doubt the sex or the company would be worth it.
He fell backwards into a full bathtub but didn't spill a single drop of the beer in his hand. What a pro.
There is a check pinned to the wall at Connor's. It's a check I wrote for $1,000,000... To you. Clearly you made out well on St. Patrick's day. Thanks for being too shitfaced to remember to grab that.
God dammit. My lube leaked all over my passport
currently working on a look that screams, "I'm dead inside, but still trying to enjoy the ride"
He seemed genuinely disappointed when I told him I wasn't going to make out with him to Bring Me To Life by Evanescence so I feel like I've pinpointed the breaking point of this relationship
I can say with absolute certainty the only time we ever had a civil conversation was when we agreed we both liked pizza.
THERE ARE LEGITLY 4 SEPARATE BITE MARKS ON MY DICK. WHAT. THE. FUCK.
Legitimately*
Go fuck yourself
Is it just me or did we have a heart to heart talk while you were naked last night?
Randomize
