Its like common courtesy of dating, the guy pays for the weed, just like dinner
I need a DD tuesday morning around 9 AM
I'm scared to ask why.....
1st bikini wax. Jose Cuervo is helping me prepare.
I need your advice and before you say it, no, it cannot be solved by a blow job
You clearly don't understand the power you wield with your mouth.
Like that girl needs to get her shit together. For her vagina's sake.
All I remember is that the bartender wouldn't give me scissors cuz I was too drunk
She dresses like Bruce Banner and fucks like the Hulk. She is all of my lesbian fantasies come true.
See if shell let you call her dr banner in bed
Three of my exes and one of my exes' brothers have hit me up and it's only been a week. I hate semester break.
This is me trying to take a picture to send to grandma. At 4. We were trying to look sober.
I just put on lipstick to sext him. That should tell you where my love life is at.
I'm never going to adult. I'm staying a child. The only thing related to adult that I want to do is you.
My phone autocorrected "shhhhh" to "AHHHHHHHHH" and I feel like that says a lot about my life
rest in peace liver.
It was nice having you occupy space in my body that could be holding beer n chicken.
that's going in my livers obituary.
I should've negotiated that before I sat on his face.
This is not okay. I only like one boy. I should like 200 boys and be having wild unprecedented sex. Instead I like one boy whose a born again virgin.
He bought me a bottle of Malibu. I think I could love this guy.
I've loved people for a lot less.
Randomize
