I shampoo & condition my pubes, sometimes i wish my face was closer so i could rub against it cause it feels like plush
the nicest thing hes ever said to me is give me head.......please
walked into the kitchen nd asked my mom what smells like tuna she replies" your sister" now i cant eat tuna...EVER!!!
And then I chipped his tooth because I got too into it. Helloo, single life.
Where else am I to apply my creativity?
I don't know. Anywhere productive and not involving sex toys would be a start.
I just broke a sweat shaving my own vagina. Something has got to change.
I want a calm night. Not one where I wake up to you topless and bloody.
I send him pictures of my tits whenever I feel like he's paying too much attention to his girlfriend.
I had a girl last night tell me that she was happy to find a condom wrapper in my garbage because,and I quote, "well at least you're not raw dogging every slore that crosses your path"
Just got blown whilst wearing a glow in the dark superman t shirt. Your night will never be as good as mine.
My goal in life is to ruin sex for someone. To be so mindblowingly unreal that they can never find anyone like me ever again. So far it's going well.
You also once spent an entire hour explaining the origin of the strip steak to me.
I didn't want sex last night, but she charmed my dick out of my pants like a snake charmer.
tinder day one and i already had more guys message me about "the girl with the big tits in my second picture" than about me. MY 17 YEAR OLD SISTER CAN GET LAID WITHOUT EVEN HAVING TO MAKING A PROFILE
to be fair she does have a great rack
I’m at the Eye doc, sitting in the waiting room. The woman next to me is highlighting passages in her bible. I’m watching pornhub on mute. I clearly need some penis, or Jesus.
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