One reason I don't come to Portland. I saw 8 guys I have had sex with last night. At the same party.
By 8 I mean 9.
And by 9 I mean 10.
Two things: Why did I wake up in a pool of blood? And am I still invited to the wedding?
No idea. And yes be here at 4
i think i need to institute a "if your dick has been in my mouth this year i get a xmas present" policy
Biggg time. I found 2 empty packages of extenze in my car this am.... not sure what that was all about
I was looking at our sex bingo and pretty much every single row or column has at least one kind of person that is harder to find than all the rest
We've made things harder for ourselves
The struggle will be part of the fun
I'm drinking and making muffins and I believe this is why God put us on earth.
Dude she tried to bite my face off last night, literally. I have never actually felt like a piece of meat until that point in life...
I just got a voicemail from some strange woman with a Russian accent. Are you ok?
I told my coworker that I'm going to a dinner party and was asked to bring wine and pregnancy tests and he was like.. I miss being 20
Sometimes intelligent conversation doesn't mix well with a romantic interest. It's possible the two are best kept separate. Toys should just stay in the toy box.
Me my naked body. You bring the paints. I expect to be a panther by game time Sunday.
What do I get.
Panthers win you get to fuck the paint off me.
So.. I was kinda upset i got the bad fuck out of the situation
For now I'm a single mom monday-thursday and a drunk looking for dick the rest of the week
you're not celebrating your 21st birthday right unless you give a male stripper a hand job, flash the bartender, and win a free vibrator.
His sex game is strong it’s like a warlord’s dick! you know what I mean?
Nope
Randomize
