Yeah, but I'm out of licorice and there's no way anywhere near here will rent us all mopeds on a Tuesday night.
i woke up to 115 texts from him all saying "do you love me??"
Down at cameli's and some homeless dude just pulled out a taser. Awesome.
He was passed out on the floor holding a beer can, rolled over switched hands and never spilled a drop. We need to practice.
My porch is a mess of peanut butter and tostitos...thanks for that.
I just saw a guy in the gym riding the bicycle while watching baseball and dipping.
I'm going to leave the fate of whether I go to my midterms up to my dealer hitting me up or not
even the AIR tastes like tequila.
We shall study the pictures later and see if his penis is worth my time.
Is it bad that I recognize every dick in your dic pic collection?
I smelled him yesterday and almost relapsed he's like cocaine
You was so high that you insisted that you heard someone whistle, then you insisted they was trapped in the wall!
Yeah well, last time I said I wasn't having a big night I was being strangled in somebody's spare bed
The air I exhale reeks of whiskey and bad decisions
I love you, but seriously, that was way too long a thesis on an Arby’s curly fry being wrapped around schlong!
Randomize
