Memory from last night that just came back: me forcibly jacking him off while he yelled I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS
I cant date a girl that sucks dick at sucking dick
maybe after you take off her top her face will be hotter
a lady just got escorted out of the bar because she came in carrying a can of gasoline while smoking a cigarette....this place is the definition of class
Only your wife would write 'for deposit only' on the back of that $1500 check knowing full and well our capabilities of spending it on strippers and booze
Without me, you would never be able to say you partied with a midget!
all i care about is the story behind my toaster ending up in the microwave
Is everything ok? Last time I missed your call you were being arrested.
Uuh, dude you came running out of the bar screaming you didn't want to hear that song, ran face first into a truck, spun around 3 times and hit the sidewalk. I tried to catch you.
I was running around taking people's drinks at the bar and just dumping it into my Gatorade bottle screaming roofies.
Let's just say he sent me a picture of his dick and I was more impressed with the collection of video games he had in the background...
If I don't go to Australia I'm using that towards a new car. If I do I'll use it to buy a koala.
what the hell is that chicken wire thing she's holding?
An artistic expression of her stupidity.
dude, you ran into a window then asked ME what the fuck I was doing.
So hypothetically speaking.. say someone dropped their birth control pill in a hot bowl of soup, and it possibly disintegrated.. would it be just as useful?
Randomize
