im watching my roommate bang this girl. she doesn't look like she's any good, because he has a bored look on his face...
when she was cumming she looked like terri schiavo. it took all of my memorized porn images to not go limp.
I woke up to 30 angry texts and her Chihuahua in my room. Can you drop him off for me?
I thought pig tail meant you were suppose to grab on to it when getting BJ
They pulled him over whille he had a fish tank full of beer in his front seat. He told them it coudn't count as an open container cause the top was on it.
Lets start the night off early. Those Coronas arent going to throw themselves up.
Congrats on having the best tasting nipple at the bar last night.
I have pink band-aids all over my body, WHAT HAPPENED?
Keg backpack and a Bike
Just ate a whole pizza by myself. Wearing my indian headdress again. its really cool with the french braids. I look like fucking pocahontas or some shit.
Also, just had a student offer to sell me Xanax. Want some? Just for like a rainy day. Or our memorial day shitshow. Or just another Wednesday night.
Last I remember we played rock paper scissors for who would fuck the guy with cowboy boots on and I won..
Goldenshlager is a hell of a drink. And these are the adventures ur missing out on w me. I gave someone a bath Emily. A BATH.
Awkward
Can't say I wouldn't let it happen again.
please tell dad to clear the porn off his tablet before he lends it to anyone from now on
Heading there now. Already have a boner.
Well the grass always *looks* greener on the other side but sometimes that’s bc there’s a sewage runoff...
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