There is a girl getting fingered on my left, a middle aged drink man smoking a bong and two girls flashing the cameras in front of me. I'm in the middle trying to maintain my innocence.
Did the walk of shame past her kids. I'm younger than one of them.
It was like doing yoga with his dick in me
i'm moving back early just in case the freshmen need a tour of the school
oh right the one that ends on your bed
Just wanted to remind you that you literally cut the underwear off a man.
I love that my brother has just convinced my dad that smoking a blunt it an "unspoken family tradition"
I am currently exfoliating my skin with the toilet. We've never been so close.
... Already stepped in vomit and got a dirty look from a fat in a neck brace
Her facebook status said "just got a sign from god". I texted her and apparently she found a slice of pizza in the shower.
You almost married that.
And I just had to awkwardly tell 3 police officers that I was having sex and not in any trouble
He's like a fucking cake pop, the greatest thing in the world while it lasts, but it never lasts for long enough
This kid wants me to stop partying. Like I have only known you for 5 days. Chill.
I'm crying watching Rihanna at the VMAs. Periods are a bitch
My history professo slid into my DMs. Granted I did give him “fuck me” eyes during a lecture a few times.
He may have been a dick but he DID give me his Netflix log in. Maybe some good did come of it.
Randomize
