Yeah unless I can find some idiot to make love to
just checked my call log and realized that we talked for 3 mns. what did i say for that long?
pretty standard. you have fun last night?
apparently....what exactly does 'pretty standard' mean?
typical hot then cold, followed by a death threat.
i got a mint flavored condom from wellness day...im kind of tempted to taste it
he said "cool" when i took off my bra and proceeded to stare wideeyed at them the ENTIRE time. it was like sleeping with the kid i showed my boobs to for the first time in 6th grade.
I have a critically important question to ask.
Why does watermelon-flavoured candy exist?
I apologize for forcing you to look at my boob when we were high. It was uncalled for
They ran through the sprinklers in front of campus police, shirtless. Singing "love is a battlefield"
I know. My only sports are biking to buy drugs and running from the police.
I know. I know. The man who pulled me from my mother's womb was the same man who had his fingers in my vagina today. My life is a joke. I don't know how to feel about this.
she vomitted in her champagne, said "fuck it, it's new years", and continued drinking.
You got into a heated argument about Frankenstein's intelligence while double fisting burritos from taco bell.
If me getting shot doesn't get me pussy I am officially gay
I dont even think your gonna like what I got you for christmas. If not we can take it back and get drugs.
He does have a nice smile. I also like to think he has a nice penis, but that's just a prediction.
Omg the sex was so good my ears popped. Thank god too. Cause then I didn't have to hear him going on and on about his dumbass feelings. It's called a booty call bitch.
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