so after morning sex, she rolled a joint and turned on sports center
you might have found the rare bro goddess. i thought they were myth
I just saved him in my contacts as "Has 2 kids.. don't drunk text"
Was just explained ingredients in a four loko. Puzzles of the universe starting to piece together.
Look, if he's not the brother with three nipples, I'm just not interested.
And in my birthday dress, with my friends, i peed on myself in line for the club. Still went in and partied. I remember pieces
Its like the unofficial aniversary of the loss of her virginity. And I will be giving tours of the spot they did it in and showing how I'm serious when I say the grass doesn't grow there anymore.
She was horrified when I asked if they had any strap on chin dildos, I was at a sex shop for gods sake must I be judged everywhere
Just say the word and u can be elbow deep in this glorious rack
This is why I love you...
He called me in the middle of the night to ask my shoe size. Apparently big feet would make me an unsatisfactory third for the threesome.
Would you accept a fantastic blowjob as payment?
TYLER OWES ME SO MUCH
I LET A CREEPY MAN I DONT KNOW SUCK ON MY NIPPLES
Will you be doing the frenzied booty dance of passionate ownage on my penis tonight
Nothing like a near-death experience to start off your Thanksgiving...
just found a picture from last night.
the one of you riding a horse with nothing but a bulletproof vest on?
uhm.... no?...
He stood next to me peeing as I was puking behind a car in the parking lot, telling me how much he loved me. On the other hand, he loves me!
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