3:12 am: but i thought i was coming over tonight, don't fall asleep i wore new underwear
walkin home..,.jsut saw the cheshire cat
watch out for the queen of hearts
fuucck i forgot ab her
I woke up this morning with gum gluing my ass cheeks together..
I can't decide if I actually want to know or not..
I do not want to touch your penis after this conversation.
Don't worry, nothing happened....but we should have a fire extinguisher here.
is it cool if i crash at ur house this weekend again bro
yea dude but i wld bring a sleeping bag or something just in case. or u may just have to shack up with a woman or 2 cuz we hav 10 girls visiting/staying over at my house.
how did u manage to make sleeping with a bunch of girls sound like an inconvenience?
my hip hurts so fuckin bad. and I just found a half eaten burrito in my nightstand drawer.
I am seriously thinking about wearing a blanket as a cape. So when I pass out tonight the blanket might keep me warm.
Been trying to fuck him since december. Finally got him into bed and he was uncircumcised. Why do bad things happen to good people?
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but a penn state hat. We are....
When I woke up next to him on the living room floor, my glasses were broken and it felt like someone rubbed a cactus all over my vag
So i stood up out of the sunroof while he gave me oral. Car was still moving. Exactly how illegal is that?
Well I'm over here squandering a fabulous hair day and radiant complexion
There's a Japanese guy here dressed as a Viking who just screamed "wats up cocksluts" and kicked a guy in the face. come get me out of here.
If you don't respond in the next 30min, I'm going to assume your in a sex coma, in jail, or dead... All of which I've become accustomed to, and will follow the appropriate channels of notification once you notify me.
Randomize
