the last time I saw her she was leaving the mens bathroom and club rush with her dress inside out. typical tease.
New invention idea: vibrating tampons
if your phone is working sorry i called you at 2am. if it is not then i never called your phone at 2am
sometimes i wish i could just stick a turkey baster up there and suck out the blood
Living right is spending a lot of time in someone's ass
seeing an 80 year old woman puke in the bushes changes everything...
that's spring break in florida for ya
We're having the conversation about what happened last night, all we can come up with is that we came home, drank two litres of lemonade, I took one of her seizure pills and we fell asleep with sabrina the teenage witch on
Plotting your own moral demise should not be this fun
Woke up with two cats staring at me. One covered in puke thats giving me a look that says it might be my fault. Where am I? Come get me.
We fucked then made friendship bracelets, his mother taught him right!
This is why Helen Keller didn't drink
I drew a nude short fat middle aged woman today and liked it
It was honestly one of my favorite days in art class except for the 20 min she faced me and kept looking at me and we made eye contact
She started telling me about this odd patch of smooth skin under her boobs. Not sure if she was hitting on me or looking for free advise from a doctor...
I mean, I still played with her tits for like 20min tho.
Whenever I'm not in the mood and don't want to go to bed swampy, I just strategically suck him off during the second period intermission of the Cup playoffs and he leaves me alone and does the dishes. It's a win-win.
had more orgasms than hours of sleep last night
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