Why do girls get to wear clothes that say "do me now" but guys don't have that kind of option?
I mean, what would the male equivalent of a slutty dress be?
so we'll all just be running around naked, basically. and high.
I successfully cooked a taquito with a lighter! My stomach hurts now tho.. im either guna blame it on the undercooked taquito or im feeling guily about porkin my brothers gf a lil bit ago
you were stealing lawn gnomes and punching cars. I'm not surprised you got arrested.
you just used "cock block" and "youth group" in the same sentence. somethings wrong with you.
I have fb friend requests from two random swedish brothers... Must have something to do with that hostel I stumbled into on mardi gras
Dude you can't like a status about me getting hit by a car
Vodka is such a love hate relationship.
Truer words have never been spoken.
you try finding a go kart track at 4 AM on Thanksgiving
Her throat is strong enough to gargle peanut butter. I'm sure you were satisfied.
80% sure the drag queens carried her home
Current status: so high that I'm unable to have coherent conversation with my mom, but still knew that when my dad said "shpritzy white stuff" I understood that he was trying to think of "whipped cream."
That text took me 10 minutes.
Santa tracker drinking game, you in or what?
why is there a porcupine in the kitchen
How many gummy vitamins can I eat before I die
Randomize
