Getting up at 8 this morning to drink could be the best and the worst idea we've ever had
Note to self: when drunk try to remember that ctrl, alt and dance doesnt exist on a keyboard.
I just remember getting him back by licking the window on his truck.
We ran out of toilet paper the last week, so we just took showers to pee
There's 12 honey baked hams in my fridge. I vaguely recalled you organizing a "Midnight Ham Run."
Cats found the secret coke stash again
They owe us $80.
don't pay it forward
I eont pay shit forward. told a stranger to call an abulance and peaced
He wrote on the paper that he wanted a "Ptitty burreto" from taco bell...when we ordered it the girl paused and entered "Potatoe burrieto"....we laughed
They conduct scientific research memoirs about what sort of shit happened last night after I ate those cookies.
I'm confident that their children would come out as 100% authentic rats
As a plus, I've lost 5 pounds in two days, so "party all weekend" is officially a valid diet plan.
man my uterus needs to drop the egg or GTFO, BUUUSHIT
And to be fair, I think we all suspect that forbidden sex with an outlaw biker might be worth it.
After 2 minutes he came and said, "thanks for everything". I can't wait to hear what he says next time when I do more than just lay there.
He told us when he was 10 he started shoving bars of soap up his ass for pleasure so i winked at him
Randomize
