u were so high that u chewed on candle wax for an hour
he made a joke about you fucking his daughter...i think youre golden
i just feel like it would be irresponsible for you to not have sex with me again.
My vagina agrees.
I met her at the liquor store. I hope I'm wearing a condom
Take in how we used all the shot glasses in the bar in less than an hour
I have bruises everywhere. I think I took "the drinks are strong" as more of a challenge than a warning.
The whole movie was ruined when some chick started laughing with what you could tell was QUITE the mouthful. This of course made the guy laugh harder.
Ok now a guy in a winnie the pooh costume is grinding on some chick to the song shots
How interesting! I'm adding this to my list of things to discuss with you between fucks.
He left in the middle of the night, he left his shoes behind and stole my doc martens..size 6 female. Wtf?
I literally have nothing else left to cut besides my drug budget; the dark days are among us
he just exposed your dildo usage to the table.
She had never heard the term "grundle" before. Classiest girl I've met in months
PS if you want to hear something hilarious as my little sister was showing me her engagement ring I open a Snapchat from R and it's literally a dick pic. Very different points in our life
I have a video on my phone of someone streaking in my house last night, do you have any idea who it is?
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