I acted like I was still sleeping as she gathered her stuff to leave.. that's when she let one rip
I had a party to get rid of booze. Woke up with even more. Will do this till I can open a liquor store
He corrected me on my grammar when I came. Fuck English majors.
Dude their dog does tricks for sips of beer. He keeps going up next to people and trying to shake. This is awesome.
you left a paper here that says 'to do list' but it looks like you just wrote "drink a bunch of cough syrup and watch Who's the Boss" like 60 times
Totally just sport flirted the shit out of a girl on a wheelchair. I've done my good deed for the day.
we got cut off at 8 am. He spilled his drink three times on the plane. this should be one hell of a vegas trip
She passed out on the kitchen table with two mickeys forties duct taped to her hands. Clearly she is going to fit perfectly in your house this semester
I find it very uncomfortable that I need to ask you to stop sending me pictures of your stomach
At least you got a round of applause for dancing like vanilla ice across the street and into the bar. Even as you were getting carded
turns out it took a Belgian couchsurfer dressed as Heisenberg to rock my world.
Also I feel I should tell you last night when I came home I fell into my laundry hamper and woke up in a pile of my clothes
Someone took a shit in the house somewhere and I STILL can't find it. I'm just going to move.
i found a picture from last night of you sat on the floor naked, covered in butter and crying. care to explain?
I was hoping you could tell me..
FYI there's a girl here with happy daddy written on her tits
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