too bad you live with your parents still
Shitting during a conference call is so empowering.
the family i'm sitting with looks like the Addams family. Except for the daughter...she looks like Shrek
bad to tell him im pregnant over fbook chat?
So... on the count of three, we are going to forget last night ever happened... 1...2...3
You need to stop blackout tweeting at him to have sex with you on the roof of your dorm. He doesn't even have a twitter.
Also when i was high i would close my eyes and see a puppy on a grill having pancake batter poured on it.... And for whatever reason it was fucking hilarious.
Hostess is going out of business we'll never survive the apocalypse
On a better note: I'm on pace for 730 female produced orgasms in 2013.
ever had the feeling "I've been drunk in this bathroom before?" Like De ja drunk?
I'm honestly wondering if my vagina did something to offend the universe
I am pants-free in the living room. This is liberating.
I just want to feed you taquitos and play with your boner and live happily ever after
I have a bag of frozen peas on my vagina. If you want to talk about real problems.
We're sitting on the kitchen floor drinking and talking about mounting real light sabers to the dog's head.
Randomize
