I'm holding in my pee so that I can hear "Cowboy" in its entirety on the radio
i effin hate jeff goldbloom.
but i totally would still bang him
stop texting me from phones in the verizon store and pretending to be guys i talked to when i was drunk. its confusing.
He's having sex with his gf again. Every thump of his bed against the wall is insulting to our one night stand.
I never thought I would say this but I have to clean queso off my vibrator
All I can see in the pic you sent is white shorts...
Thas my pasnts in colleg! Tehy glow! AND SMELL LIKE BEER!
The last thing I remember is sitting in a chair and him hand feeding me bell peppers
I FINALLY HAVE A REASON TO DYE MY PUBES BLUE!!!
I feel like I grabbed someones dick last night, & if I didn't I'll be disappointed in myself
So if I get kidnapped from my office and go missing for a few days does that count against my vacation days and do I still get paid?
I shaved last nite, you should see my cock it looks like a beautiful skyscraper
So I just noticed that my last drunk google search before going to bed last night was "ghosts based on gays." I have no idea what that's supposed to mean
When you didn't respond I figured you must be busy so I'm home in my pj's 2 beers in and stoned from weed I got from my gaybours. They also gave me cake. I'm not moving from this recliner.
You had sex with a Scottish dude with a peg leg....how could I NOT tell that story??
QUIT BEING A BITCH, DRINK SOME PEPTO, AND PUKE ON OUR FOES
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