I wish i was in the wii world.
if you were to get worldwide popularity from playing guitar with a plastic yellow bat while drunk on YouTube, would you hate me?
So I'm at planned parenthood and there are 5 people here from Friday's party.
My financial aid advisors would be so pissed if they knew I was spending my loan money on strippers
terrible decisions. terrible terrible terrible decisions.
who'd you have sex with.
I wonder if he just picks random boners to send or just the realy impressive ones
My mom said I should get that 'not fucking anybody' problem fixed.
One huge ass giant mistake followed by celebatory shots and coors lights thats my day in a nut shell
Like her Facebook page isn't even hers. It belongs to her tits. It's Titsbook
Then you better bring Starbucks and a box of condoms in the morning.
Oh shit. This is getting real.
I found us a new booze connection and I'm writing college admissions essays. The future is bright.
I'm just gonna ride this ego train to sex town
look, im sorry that i yelled at your little brother, threw my car keys at him and smashed a stale cookie with a pool cue, but i swear to god i didn't poop on the floor. it was one of your dogs.
I woke up on the hammock spooning a box of Cheese Itz.
Can I come over?
Sorry I gave up dick for lent. Hit me up on Good Friday tho
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