I wonder if she has a lisp when she orgasms...
Two dudes got up on top of the pianos and danced shirtless. They didnt even get kicked out. I love vegas
hey, sorry about all the butter. I thought it was gonna help.
Despite fighting the urge to vomit throughout the whole thing, I think that interview went really well!
I'm gonna have to flying elbow somebody tonight in memory of Macho Man
So howd u manage to get high at a one year olds birthday anyway?
But life isn't just all about getting drunk & eating chicken strips.
Your last day of twenties? OK. Then I'll give you til midnight. Then you turn into a pumpkin. A big, 30 year old pumpkin.
You know how most people would take your keys when they don't want you to leave a party? Those 2 girls aren't most people. They took my pants instead.
stuck in a tree...bring a ladder. also my arm might be broken. no questions are allowed.
It feels like you stuck your dick in a fire and then branded the inside of me.
Let's try finding a bar where there aren't people who want to hang me from a tree by my nutsack
Oh man. I am high, watching The Office and getting pancakes. What a country.
Holding your hair back while you puked wasn't a choice. I was handcuffed to you.
Damn that sucks I haven't needed pants the whole time i've been here
Randomize
