sitting in my room eating a boneless rib tv dinner, and listening to taylor swift's love story, and i sharted. had to finish the ribs and hear the end of the song before i went to the bathroom to wipe.
it took me about 5 minutes before I knew it was in her ass. i thought the first time would be a bit more special
smoking a cig and getting head on the last night of my cruise. and she doesn't mind that i'm texting you right now. this is now on my list of top 10 nights of my life.
Just got the test results back. All clean, Now whose an idiot for going bareback in South America for 3 months straight.
It's a big world.....someone has to fuck it.
Your scrotum should have touched every square inch of that place by now. Start with the water fountain.
In less than 3 minutes we had 3 security guards running after us
And this is the part where I need you not to judge me. Remember that I have never seen a penis do that and that I have a weird sexual curiosity
I think I broke a hole in her wall trying to do backflips
Yup, totally tried cooking bacon in the dryer last night.
I THREW AWAY MY VIBRATOR BECAUSE IT INTIMIDATED HIM. WORST. DECISION. EVER
He made me cum 4 times, we high fived afterwards and then I proceeded to tell him about this guy I'm dating whilst I made him a bacon sandwich. I think we've finally mastered being friends with benefits.
end of the world party next friday. virgin sacrifice. tell me you know someone whos still a virgin
I've got enough liquor to do one of two things on Friday: 1.) Drink myself into a coma or 2.) lay in bed a drunk and cry lonely mess. Happy Valentines Day.
His penis is average but his stamina is amazing!!! I didn’t know I had that many orgasms in my body!!!!
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