they have a video of him in his boxers making a snow angel in the hallway is his own vomit and coca cola.
It feels like you stuck your dick in a fire and then branded the inside of me.
I was like can I please fuck your hips back into realignment
By the way, do you realize that you asked me how much you could get for your eggs last night. And once you learned the price said that you had plenty to share.
Sorry I couldn't reference you in my facebook quote. I will redirect any likes and comments straight to my blowjob efforts this week.
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
how does someone with a Masters Degree leave poop in an ashtray in the sink? It just blows my mind
sorry there isn't a 'perfect ass' emoji
I feel horrible. I brought her to your house like a late night pizza delivery and dropped her off.
I'm not gonna lie. I'm a little scared.
Good. The Jell-O shots look great.
Don't be offended, the only thing I'm attracted to right now is snack cakes and chicken wings.
This hangover is what we deserve after that level of debauchery.
The cop told me I was the prettiest guy he'd arrested in a while. I'm still not sure if it was a come on or not.
Well, let me first tell you that jack and cokes were ONE FUCKING DOLLAR.. It's like the club wanted me to make poor choices.
He had a tattoo of the Batman logo around his asshole. I noped right the hell out of there.
Randomize
