I thought she had more class and brains than to date a complete numb-nut, drug addict, fuck up like him. People never cease to amaze me
you don't know how close you are to someone till they ask you to shave their ass.
the last thing i remember is unlocking the door. its like i was literally opening the door to my blackout
She's dressed as Musafa. How could this not be a good idea?
He gave me an orgasm with his left hand...and he's right handed. Of course he's a keeper.
Hes still mad that I left the room mid-hookup to go get a pickle from the fridge.
I would ask what did you do but I feel like who did you do is probably more appropriate
he got mad becuase i made more noise when he gave me a back massage then i do when we actually have sex
A nice make out session never hurt anyone. Plus he's a pilot, so he'll know the safety procedures for when the night crashes and burns.
I feel like a color. Like a wavy color
I came back and almost ran over two people passed out in my driveway I've never met before in my life
I woke up on top of his counter next to a pot of boiling water and an empty package of ramen... what happened to the ramen, we will never know.
I woke up in a trash can. Please dude. I don't know what I did to you last night, but I'm sorry. Epically sorry. Please call me back. Please.
I just overheard this sorority girl saying "It's like trick or treting but for alcohol and with no costumes." I'm jealous.
Sexual Frustration City, population: Me.
I just tried to give a picture of a dude a blowjob. through my computer screen. I was leaning forward with my mouth open and everything so WALK AWAY
Randomize
