he just said he'd buy the porn
its a step up from the last guy
then you put baby powder on the bottom of your feet and walked to your room so "ladies would follow the footprints"
No kidding. I just keep looking at that 'under 21 until 11/21/2011' on my id and whispering "soon enough"
She cheated on me with the same state trooper that wrote me a ticket.
I guess now you have a way to keep your license when you bring that up in court.
Dude, you are the most awesome.
You can do it. What doesn't kill us just drives us to drink
You yelled "hold my dick" before you tackled the guy away from the dj and two random girls moved to actually hold it, then argued about it. I want that whore aura!
I think ill wear my dads dashiki but make it sluttier. We shall see
i'll booty call him tonight after the radiohead concert, that way he can see his favorite band and his favorite vagina all in one night.
Can't tonight. I'm supposed to get drugs for some college kids. Just doin my part in helping to enlight america's future
Yep I can make a seagull sound. It's identical. I tried it. They thought I was talking to them. It's pretty cool.
Fucked a kid by the name of your hometown tonight... FOR THE WIN.. BF4L
There are far too many naked dudes in your apartment, and they aren't even watching porn. I mean seriously, they've got the Lion King on.
I ate too many pot brownies and passed out topless with my boobs painted like the American flag
I know you're here! I can hear your phoneeeee. Wake up and do illegal things with me.
She's dancing around licking a fork of nutella. She is not sober.
Randomize
