Drinking non-alcoholic beer is like going down on your cousin.
Sure it tastes the same, but it ain't right.
Chicago was legit, ate some badass pizza and gave a cig to a crackhead..its all i thought it would be
I sold my books for weed money!
Finals don't start for a week...
I am a mess. Weirdest thing: I woke up with a hammer under my pillow. No idea why.
The first song on his sex mix was "highway to the danger zone"
Go ahead. I tried to back up ur budhism story but she mite be catching on
Dammit. I hoped that would work. Just tell her I'm doing my pilgrmidge to Nepal or something.
He was singing Justin Beiber while we did it. I love secure Spanish men
I'm still tasting pancake mix. I think this may actually be a serious medical problem...
Highlight of the night was you walking into the men's room yelling "My husband is diabetic" and crawling under the stall to yell at me.
I don't know what was up he just kept sitting in his chair smoking weed and watching home movies all night it was weird as fuck.
Hahahaha who is sleeping in the garage on our beer pong table?
I have fuck me eyes 4/5 people agree. It's like doctors or dentists but with ppl who have lots of sex and know these things.
dave might be using McDoubles to pay for dances
he has gotten at least 7 lap dances out back
STOP IT RIGHT NOW IM BEING A SINLESS CHILD OF GOD IN BED TRYING TO SLEEP AND YOURE SENDING ME MEMES ABOUT DICKS
What's with guys asking if I wanna "kick it" like I'm some fucking 19 year old
Randomize
