White wifebeaters are like orgies with fat people. Enjoyable in private, i'm sure, but in public: no thanksss.
At least we don't have one night stands
True that. We sink our claws in our men.
She is a fish and this place is a barrel. I can play this game.
I feel like I'm taking part in a surprise porno. At least my hair looked good.
Well, I now know how many glasses of wine it takes for me to fuck my neighbor.
I'm wearing your poncho, and only your poncho. I'm not getting pulled over like this.
There are several different types of life sentences in my purse right now.
At what point does "I'm too high to deal with you right now" stop being rude?
Guys with values who care about your personality don't cum on your back the 2nd time they you sleep with you.
Dude, double fisting packs of Ramen saved my life last night
I'm texting an actual stripper. A male stripper. I dont wanna talk about it yet
Everything was going well until he very loudly said that he wanted to cum on my fingernails.
I think I’ve reached sophomore-year-level of bad ideas
and you know that’s the highest possible level because it’s when I met you
I think it's important to not involve Bar Food in any near future decisions.
she's pretty fucking smug for someone who has had unprotected sex with a convicted felon
Randomize
