Hey its my first time.
I think you mean "it's my first time"
he was actually really polite. he asked before he came on my chest because he "wasn't sure my stance on it".
She narrowed it down to 7 guys that could have gotten her pregnant.
Fair enough. I'm gonna finish off half a bottle of Brunettes in the shower anf relive the good ol' days. We need a reunion
You told us that you don't have to wait in line at Taco Bell. Then, drove up to the window and grabbed someone else's food.
Whether ya want it or not, it's gonna happen. Assimilate to the gay
Stop studying come to the bar get drunk and help me figure out how to get home pretend there are commas in there someplace
I ate her out in the bathroom and she did my makeup. Man i love being a lesbian
My morning started with my mom giving me the number for a substance abuse councellor. How's your day going?
You know how I said I hit my head so hard I saw two of him and tried to make out with both? Well, it turns out he has a twin.
NO HE PUT HIS HAND IN HIS PANTS BEFORE HE TOUCHED THE BONG.
ILLEGAL
Puked in my purse on my Uber ride home last night. Safe to say it's not a good idea to beer bong a whole bottle of wine.
she broke a 50 dollar bottle of alcohol. then passed out in front of her car and got sprayed by a skunk
You kept calling yourself a spider monkey... Then ran to the bathroom to "prepare for the main event"
Just letting you know that while you peed your pants in that guys jeep, The orgasm I had made my hair fall out... Good morning.
Randomize
