I got us kicked out of the bar because the waitress found me in the kitchen trying to make spaghetti
She was really sick last night--but i was too drunk to bring her chicken noodle soup after the bar, so went by taco bell and got her a chicken burrito instead
i don't know at this point bringing the fog horn might be a good idea...
FYI I'm about to upload a vid of you to facebook of you screaming "SNACK ATTACK" and throwing cheetos at everyone playing pong...
his roommates said i can move in if i promise to only drink tequila the rest of the semester. challenge accepted.
No, i went to get it done but the guy couldnt find it. exhibit A of why i wanted a clit piercing in the first place.
I will come to your office dressed as a bloody mary, hug you then leave is that a good plan?
yes. bring a barf bucket too. just. in. case.
This is why i like single justin better. my only regret is not being present for more of his short life. may he rest in peace
Got so drunk in South Padre some guy put me on a suitcase trolly and pushed me to my room. I flashed my boobs as a tip.
Me and the guy at the liquor store are on a first name basis, college is all about networking.
Yah at one point i was listening to metallica and doing pushups last night. I went thru alot of emotions.
2 reasons we need to wear those onesies to the bar more ofter 1) comfy as shit 2) we both still got laid\n\nHow can you resist that kinda night?
the conference was great. we had to hide the acid in a planter in front of the department of agriculture though
I have 3 vacation days left and I'm guarding them like a gay dragon on a pile of gold dildos molded after celebrities.
Smaug the FABULOUS
Like if I exploded right now there would be cum and fajitas everywhere.
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