i would give spencer pratt a bj just so i could bite his dick off
he'd just find a way to get more famous from being a eunich.
Eliza got arrested. What's the protocol on eating an arrested person's sandwich?
as it turns out, there is no "i was in the pool" excuse for adderall-induced shrinkage.
mom brought her knitting needles with her. its bad enough to be in the ER on new years, but to be with the knitting parent!?
i was super drunk. to the point where i was putting shredded cheese on a fork, putting hot sauce on it then dipping it in salsa. it was awesome.
It's a pretty amazing thing to watch... He used "Rad tits" as his pick up line of the night. And it worked... 3 times
I mean I love some drunk compliments, but he just wasn't up to my low standards.
I completely forgot about the posting of partying pics shortly after adding my gma my dad was like grandma says your all over fb but she doesn't know how to use it. Of course I'm all over her fb. She's got 6 friends I am her newsfeed
I'm ready to get married, then we can lie around watching anime and eating pizza while he rubs baby oil on me
Note to self: trying to grow pubes back = worst decision of 2014 thus far
I mean, except for the part where I was vomiting up pineapple and hot sauce, it was a really fun time.
I never thought the most recent texts on my phone would be with ASAP ferg and my ex...
Actually just remembered that solo cup full of scotch that random guy gave me for not farting on him. That's probably why
He just pulled his sweatpants down and pissed in the middle of our garden
I met up with trey last night. He whispered in my ear "I love you" then raised his voice and said "but not in a I want to marry you kind of way, but if you died I would cry."
Randomize
