i just hugged the lady at the liquor store goodbye for the summer...
She pointed at me and told her friend, I'm going to fuck him, its going to be really loud, so yes, i need the whole basement.
If you bring me a slurpee and advil I will eat you out for like an hour.
Just think, this time last Cinco de Mayo you were holding me up and finding me passed out in the yard of that house.
he just flipped me off the bed, said "deal with it", and came on me.
Nope. If I'm going to drive an hour to fuck a teacher, it will NOT be missionary thats for damn sure.
If I ever write a book, i'm calling it "why do i work with fucktards?"
It'll be a good sequel to my other book, "why do i sleep with fucktards?"
I made a list on my phone of places I want to fuck, it's right under my list of groceries I'm getting a little too used to regular sex but dude monogamy is the shit
Please brint me miilk. I am on the floor but my door is open. Thank you, i appreciate u verry much.
Weird, Jen didn't know mixers were solely for coloring purposes. Don't call me an alcoholic because you're uneducated
I'm sorry I put my balls through your watch. On another note your roommate had them on his shoulder too sry
I'm sad about how hungover I'm gonna feel tomorrow.
Sorry for peeing on you and your bed last night.
He caught me mid-escape...one leg out the window, bra n thong in hand.I just looked at him and said "Bye Now" n proceeded to fall out his window....then.... tell me why he texted me 30 min later to make sure i got home ok! #igotthis
Not to be hella graphic on main but I just came so hard I think I saw a new color.
Randomize
