just found out there is no tactful way to ask your girlfriend to wax her stache. no matter what a google search would have you believe.
words of advice: black light parties reveal cum stained clothing.
i feel like the 7 eleven by your house knows our deepest, darkest secrets
Why do they give me cups on $8 pitcher night? I HAVE A PITCHER.
The countdown is at hand. We are 15 days from so much Jameson that names will be forgotten. Prepare your liver now or severe projectile vomiting will be the theme of the night.
The second time he came it projectile shot in my ear
We were in a spooning position and it shot all the way up. He was like sorry. Physics.
who started the 'put a scrunchy' around his balls' game?
Some guy is here using a taser on people. I'm up next
Crappy Mother's Day to you! Those of us who don't have children fill the void with hot sex, sleeping in, more sex, leisurely suntanning, foreign travel, overseas sex, paying cash for sports cars, watching TV, having sex on the floor in front of TV porn, lounging around the house, or whatever the hell we want.
Just took plan b with my eggs and chai...homecoming got the best of me already
Walking into class right now and I swear to god I smoked down the substitute teacher we have at a party I went to last week
On another note- any interest in going to a gay bar to hit on 19yr olds?
This is the fifth time tonight that girl has taken off my pants. Take me home. Now.
He doesn't wear a seatbelt. He votes Republican. He has a small dick. That house of cards just fell apart.
Sorry about you walking in on the whole nude kinect dancing. The new roomie was drunk and naked and told us he was either over dressed or we were under dressed for the party. And Amy figured it would be easier to join him than it would be to dress him
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