I cant talk about it right now or let you guess, but its something you and i would do. Kinda like that time we had the case of beer and went bowling
You hooked up with minors in a golf cart?
i almost hope i AM knocked up so i can ruin the rest of his life
I wonder if that one guy remembers you sticking salami to his forehead when he was passed out on new years eve.
What is the protocol for an "i'm sorry I had my ex retrieve me from the bar so I didn't drive drunk" blow job
He broke up with me over the phone while I was getting my bush waxed into a "D" for his surprise birthday present. Talk about bad timing...
And dildos are 35% off. So. Ya know. Savings.
You are my mentor.
I drank wine out of a protein shake bottle last night. You may want to rethink that statement.
good news: i got laid. bad news: by your boyfriend
I mean, it was a fun hookup and he's cute and whatnot, but he wouldn't go down on me. Plus he's a republican. Idk why but those things feel like they go hand in hand.
Is it bad that I tried to build an outfit based around "What do people who use condoms look like when they buy condoms?"
Well the hawks lost... so, of course, the only logical course of action was a bonfire in the middle of the street.
I had to cum in my sink.
I told him I might be pregnant and he said he'd buy me a test and a twix bar. I'm marrying him. Tomorrow.
I'll get the most aesthetic strap on, you'll see
Someone should walk up to them and say, "We're sorry, you're too hot to be out here with the other humans."
Randomize
