North Korea, Best Korea!
any plan I had today of being a productive member of society, I am officially throwing out the window.
Sucks about the cops last night
to be honest when I first looked up I wanted to know who was coming from a costume party..
You missed out on a serious adventure. Cops were called. We put a chicken in someones house.
I figured, if I'm going to wear a gold cape its pretty safe to assume I'll be blacking out as well.
I think he pocket dials me so much because I'm in his phone as 'Air Mattress'
Driving a mountain pass in the middle of a blizzard with the worst vodka gummybear hangover ever is gods way of telling me to keep the black-outing within a 15 mile radius to my house.
If you wake up tomorrow and start to wonder.... Yes you did just eat mild sauce from taco bell out of the package while informatively yelling about the loss of my virginity
He was still there when I ran half naked into my suitemate's room where she was skyping her boyfriend and I started singing I JUST HAD SEEEEX
he drank all my beer while i was at work and passed out on my couch, when i got home he was out cold and my room mates pig was licking him. they seemed peaceful, so i took 20 bucks from his wallet and left again.
I got to see a stripper that did magic last night. It was glorious.
I wore wrist and ankle weights while we had sex. Does that count as working out?
Condoms and Ice Cream, that's all we need.
while on the topic of showers...why is there apple juice in our bathtub?
Bro I rebuilt the dungeon in animal crossing visit me
Broooo
Randomize
