what if the hokey pokey really is what its all about?
After he proceded to violently molest my tits until 9 am i snuck out of his room only to meet his mother downstairs, who informed me she heard the giant sexfest going on in the room next to them.. this was before she called us both "chickenshits".. worst walk of shame ever.
She was wearing a "Got Beer" hat and your bed had necco wafers all over it the next morning. Another story for the grandkids.
we hate each other therefore the sex is mindblowing
That's what you get for fucking someone nicknamed "wiggle worm"
why does my status of facebook already read REHAB 2011
So we just left her at the hospital. She is not ruining my Monday night
I just got my hands on some dry ice. How do you feel about coming home to a mystical wizard toilet?
I bet my lungs hate me more than my liver
That's a hard toss up
Aside from having sex with a rando in a toga on george's couch i think taking plan b in the library is the most hashtag college thing i've ever done
I suppose what I've learned from this experience is that sometimes you just have to make out with a narcissistic baby daddy to make a clean getaway.
OMG I accidentally abducted a cat. Now there is a cat in my apartment. I NEED TO UNDO WHAT I HAVE DONE
besides the unzipped fly, the black eye and the toilet paper on your shoe you looked really sexy today baby!
Ive completely stopped wearing makeup. Not even eyebrows. Thats how sick of wisconsin I am.
Ok, as his sister I didn't tell you this but he's very familiar with pregnancy symptoms. So next time he calls you fat freak him the hell out by asking if your ankles look swollen.
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