he just texted me two pictures of his dick. i feel i should rethink whatever vibe im obviously giving out
so is it as big as he says?
he put a tube of toothpaste next to it as a reference. it looks legit
Somewhere in this world my second husband is in 9th grade.
Life lesson: using the oven as a heater= $500 electric bill
So I was just looking through the calendar on my phone seeing what day new years was on & on dec 31st at 9am it says "nude champagne toast". Guess we have to do it.
I just texted him to come over because I want to see if his hand fits the handprint bruise on my ass.....I feel like the cinderella of S&M
I think it was the chocolate body paint and awesome blowjob that finally made us official.
I cannot believe we're comparing my vagina to Mary Poppins and a black hole.
So I drew a giant robot attacking a city on the chem test. My TA colored in the fire on the burning building
Either this is the best sandwich I've ever had, or my stomach is just relieved to have something in it that's not Red Bull or semen.
They're making him take his shirt off cause they think he's the bouncer. We're in his backyard.
Also, I want you to know, that not only am I apparently the expert on sexting. Our bishop is consulting me later. So my talents are varied.
IT IS NICKEL SHIT NIGHT
*shot. Why
And god said thou shalt never deny free booze. And it was good.
there's a giant awkward home-wrecking elephant in the room. and its name is meg.
I could not add him. He gets 5 likes on Instagram.
Randomize
