You and i never got to the, we dont care what we look like friend-stage. you know? like not brushing your teeth stage.
sorry im really high
Apparently I added "small children" to my likes on facebook. glad to know that's where my subconscious is at.
i can tell by the sound of your bed that he isnt that good at sex.
I can't believe he would be such an ass
Your boobs are way too big for you to be worrying about anything.
Don't get the hula weed. It makes you sleep walk in destructive and confusing ways. I'll explain on Saturday.
and then he put stevie wonder on to fuck to...and hummed along as I blew him
You should be proud. How many people can say they GAVE a stripper an std?
I would lick a homeless mans crack teeth for a cup of coffee right now.
I just fucked her in her boyfriends bathroom... he was in the room sleeping.
Sitting in my kitchen at 3am, craving dick and eating peanut butter instead. I'm not sure how I feel about being 27.
I don't think meeting his drug dealers counts as a relationship landmark.
We got really high and he took a green marker and made my vagina into a Christmas tree.
does having sex with an episode of House playing in the background count as studying for my MCAT?
Tripping over coffee tables hurts shins but face is okay bc I landed on a sofa.
He sounds like Chris Tucker and wants to eat me out when I’m on my period. If that isn’t love I don’t know what is.
Randomize
