we're making bets on your personal life
Does your gf have any friends she can hook me up with?
Better looking than her though please.
Just remembered when I bought that round of shots I told the girls to "get their whore friend" who was making out with her bf instead of drinking. I don't know why they stayed.
My horoscope told me I'm getting laid tonight. Please don't make the stars be liars
We kept trying to bring you to the hospital but you had a tantrum and kept saying you would never be Miss America
Apparently, "please don't I have to be in court tomorrow" is not a valid excuse for a girl to abstain from giving a massive hickey.
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
I was just doing the math on how much beer we need for the houseboat. in doing so, I came to the conclusion that we need to open a beer distributor business.
Walk of shame: Easter Edition. He is risen.
Beer, water, beer, water, beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer so much beer
I think I accidentally invented a religion.
Would you accept a fantastic blowjob as payment?
She has no problem going ass to mouth, but won't eat the pizza crust. I don't get it.
So...#1 on my TO DO list for college is to fuck someone somewhere in the stadium during the homecoming game...you down?
I wish drug dealers had sales for the holidays
Randomize
