shes the kind of girl i dont like to talk to unless my penis is in her mouth.
I thought if I stared at him long enough he'd walk me to my car. but he didn't. he dddidn't. i rreally thought i had those powers.
There are two people having sex in one of the showers right now trying to silence their orgasm sounds and failing. Thank you coed bathrooms.
I just learned you can mail a coconut. I'll be over in 3 days with the rum.
Guess who won bingo at the senior center and is going to jail all in the same night?
While you were in the ER we decided to tailgate in the parking lot until security told us that's not allowed.
she gave me head while i watched the '98 Rose Bowl on espn classic. Ryan Leaf really was a huge bust
Today is leap day..... If that's not an excuse to blackout all day I don't know what is
I have a theory he's part Neanderthal
He may only be 25% black, but after that sexual experience I am 100% never going back.
I am day drunk. Get ready to see my dick.
Im laying on the couch wishing someone was here to pour wine in my mouth. I need an alcohol IV
I mean, I've had her boob in my mouth, but is that romance?
YALL MOTHERFUCKERS WANNA WATCH HEAVY METAL AND SMOKE WEED AND PLAY POOL AND DRINK BEER AND SMOKE WEED
HE'S FUCKING 19 YEARS OLD, HE CAN'T EVEN GET INTO A BAR WITH ME, WHAT MAKES YOU THINK I'LL LET HIM IN MY PANTS?!
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