you know how you have to have just the right ratio of chips to sandwich? same goes for pubes.
This can't be good. I've realized that I weigh less in the morning after I have had a blackout drunk night than when I work out and eat healthy.
Day 3. Will have to postpone job hunting by a month. May have blown out my knee. Was sunburned on Friday. Now look painted red. Still alive. All worth it.
I am telling you that nothing wakes you up like stomach acid exiting your nostrils at 10AM
i lnow ive slrrwsdy teted you this. but goddamn girl on tv is a good song
it's been like two and a half months. And I swear, I keep seeing walking dicks. I think I'm going crazy cause of lack of sex..
He was sitting on the bathroom floor, swirling his finger in the toilet singing the Laguna Beach theme song. I don't know whether to laugh or help him.
Why does he only make me orgasm when I'm about to break up with him?
All I wanted was a quiet evening to masturbate and eat cake and instead you ruined it by bringing girls over.
See, it wasn't that I broke my nose having sex. Its that I forgot about the bedposts...
PA to anyone at the party last night and wondering where your pants are: they are in my backyard.
I'm just trying to win a butt plug dude
like, you weren't just lying there, you were wrapped in what appeared to be the skin of a wolf, chanting doomsday prophecies
THE END IS NEIGH
Stop fucking Sharon's exes.
Sorry it took me so long to reply. I was fucking Sharon's ex.
My one night stand ended up seeing me the next morning... For my interview. Guess who got a job.
Randomize
