I feel like im in a tornado of daylight savings, tequila and death
She said just put your tongue in there and don't linger. I have other things to do.
I'm doing homework tonight but if you end up going out drinking I would like one courtesy peer pressure text.
I have hit nutritional rock bottom I am spreading peanut butter on to lays potato chips
I'm like the kid who wants his birthday and christmas equally. Every time I get one I want the other. Only I don't want holidays I want brothers
I think I just asked the Greek gyro guy on a yoga date.
Im pretty sure at one point a very high you yelled, with actual tears in your eyes, "im not wrestling with you anymore, you dont respect my safe word!!"
I just want him to come back from NOLA alive, without an arrest record or stripper glitter on his clothes...
Those seems like unreasonable expectations for a bachelor party honestly...
We were all day drunk by 2pm. Now I know why they hate Americans
its the pipe that keeps on giving. Just when I think it's done, I scrape just enough. It's a st. Patrick's day miracle!
Do you wanna do something, or just stare at each other and fantasize about death like we usually do
how am i in montreal? thats like a 3 hour train ride. i remember nothing.
Woke up in a car, do you own a silver car parked a few miles form the house...hope so
i just got hit by a door and im the one that said im sorry, yeah im drunk.
I wish I got tanner on friday but I feel like I spent most of my time puking in the bathroom. I love my life
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