mark looks like s**t tonight! thank da lawd we broke up!
it's mark...i'm guessing you didn't mean to send that to me...
I got so high last night I started crying because i couldn't stop thinking about how scary space is
I'm not ready for the Pike bikes to move back in to town it was wonderful seeing that sorority house empty all summer
... I'm KD
It's a beautiful day for a hangover
Going to Kmart high is like jumping in a time machine back to the 80s
Black out sex on the trampoline? yes please.
I woke up to his little sister feeling me up. I guess it's time to meet the family.
i broight you flpweers amd vodka. open yoir bask door
I'm naked and wearing a cowbell.i love med school.
Dude... She just sent me a story of how she wants to fuck me on a boat and call me her captain.. Well ahoy mateys, lets set sail
He came to my Harry Potter marathon wearing a Hogwarts uniform. Of course I fucked him.
I was informed this morning that I took all my clothes off and ran around the whole apartment complex. Being as they just moved in, welcome to the neighborhood.
I always feel bad for the sober driver... Never been me but I feel bad... empathetic AF
Just woke up next to a hungry lesbian and a half eaten croissant on my stomach. Can you come get me?
you yelled, puked and cried then passed out in the fetal position in your underwear
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