ok i said sorry. what else do you want?
100 blowjobs
my orientation roommate looks just like New York of Flavor Flav fame
You were partners with her mom and you began calling her "the Robert Horry of beer pong" You also kept telling her that she was hotter than her daughter.
New channing tatum movie.
I'll bring my vibrator.
What a good family we'd make, him and I and our kids and his good dick.
so the girl i've been sleeping with for 3 weeks now just figured out that i don't know her name
I think you can do her, she seemed pretty set for revenge the second time her boyfrind high fives her in the face.
Man, only now that I'm single is it painfully obvious that I have zero booty calls in waiting. This could be a cold winter
I left my pipe in my center console with a bowl packed when I took my car to the shop, and when I picked it up the weed had been smoked, but my oil change was only half price.
WHAT DID YOU SAW VERBATIM. VERBATIM IS SOBER FOR WORD FOR WORD
I'm now drinking beer through a straw. By order of the bartender.
If it makes you feel any better about life I'm wearing yoga pants with granny panties and toms with socks cause fuck my life
Dude, that was like bongs ago.
you literally stared at me for three minutes and then said "hey this tequila isn't gonna drink itself, boss"
I'm 99% sure the Indians were high for thanksgiving and we should respect that by getting high too
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