Latenightwjoannablackberrywontletmespaceitknowsimdrunk
and you tried to get a free burrito from Potbelly's
that sweater is a total boner killer. you might as well be wearing a wedding dress.
at least franzia made me throw up pretty colors.
Why do I have flashes of a dark shed in my memory?
Because we had sex in one.
We were confused who drove until we went outside and her cupholders were torn out of the dash and laying on the ground
there are some nice people on this island. free ride free pancakes and they even prayed for us when they dropped us off
Not that you went to little darlings at 3am. But that you checked in on Facebook. C'mon bro. You're better than that.
Is eating fries while lying on the floor bad for you?
If I choke and die at least I will have been doing something I love
I mean.. listen to "Put It In My Mouth" and you'll get the gist of my voicemail for you.
Remember that time we turned a can of Axe body spray into a flame thrower?
I washed my sheets. I did out of respect for my previous and current sexual partners.
I just formed the "shit on a tree in Chicago club." And I feel awful about it.
You are cut off. Your giant penis and crazy awesome sex is ruining my body...
Best neighbors ever! They found the guy ive been wanting as a booty call and got me invited to the party the guy was at and gave me alcohol so i could be tipsy when met him. im never moving.
Randomize
