just do him I won't tell jon
um i'm guessing you meant to send this to tina, thanks for the support in our relationship you whore
So I walked out of my room and there was my brother....standing naked
@ a funeral. fucking miss uuuu
Those are some awfully high standards for someone of your weight
all i asked was if it was all the way in, and now im laying here alone. sensitive guys fucking suck
please dont let the old guy in the wheelchair see you when you wake up
Let's cut to the chase. What days are we sleeping together this week?
That's the fall semester you first snorted drugs off my ass I think
Oh and someone pissed in my shoes, so I'll let you figure that out.
he's not even weird he's been offering me different drinks all night
oh i remember now hes the guy that liked when i peed on him
this is the fourth time i've taken my clothes off for money this year. is that normal for the average college sophomore?
Straight up last night my mom was like josh you need to find a job that doesn't include the selling or transporting of drugs
The cards I get dealt on tinder now are karma for fucking a married man while I was in high school.
There's a Russian superstition that you'll spend your year the way you celebrate New Year's, so I'm honestly not that surprised you're drunk.
I think drunk me saved him in my phone as "beautiful man" to play a joke on sober me
Randomize
