there are some really hot girls on the bus. i want to lips them
woke up this morning wit a massive hangover. walked to my truck and found at least 35 for sale signs, a stop sign, and a julie kim sign...need answers
yea, you decided to become a real estate agent last night on the way home from the party. You started bitchin about how Julie Kim was stealing all your buisness....
i wish starbucks made bloody marys
I have started doing my homework in bars. It just feels right.
if that's jizz on my steering wheel i'm gonna be pissed...and impressed.
I think she faked a seizure to get out of it ...
he broke off your car antennae to use as a walking stick before he smoked because he claimed to lack the facial strength needed to open his eyes when he's high
Your girlfriend is in jail- I've just never been able to use that in a sentence before. Thank you both!
SOS. HE HAS PASSED OUT AND IS LYING ON TOP OF ME. HE IS STILL INSIDE. HELP
I like to think it's an accomplishment that I can relate my life to a T-pain song
Our first crop came in on the day that they added Hercules to Netflix Instant, I think it's the universe telling us that it approves of us growing shrooms in our guest room.
Worst walk of shame man. They had a fire drill at 7am, had to walk out of her all girl dorm wearing my Everday I'm Hustling sweater
Apparently I was directing traffic outside of Keeneland. Apparently I'm not a police officer. Who knew....
I don’t have the time, patience, or blood alcohol level to deal with her.
don't worry dude i have your phone, text me when youre gonna come get it
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