just won 30 on black! Ok adicteddd! Never coming back gqmbeqing is easy.
now my debit card is betting 1k whoops. im gongk eh be rich!!!
whoops didnt work. think the gambeli mashine is busters!! now im betting 2k?! bad idea?
I'm drinking bacardi out of her mom's eco-green starbucks mug and chasing it with her sister's "for track only" vitamin water. Hello suburbia
Did you ever stop and think that god invented whiskey dick specifically for me
You should make cookies and when I get home we can have a slow motion hug and eat them
He gave me an orgasm before we even reached 2nd base, everything he did in high school is irrelevant.
I just took my birth control with a water bottle I found in my purse with vodka in it in Spanish class. 10am is still too early for me.
Do you know how disconcerting it is to hear the sound a dog makes while it drinks water and find out that it's someone eating you out?
I feel like i just got chewed up and shit out by a ukranian midget
After my mom met Tanner, she literally turned and said "he's from old money, top of his class at Emory, already has doctors courting him for jobs and judging from your vocal performance the other night, he's gifted in bed. Fake a pregnancy right now"
I come from her. Holy hell.
Eye drops are like seatbelts of being high. Think about it
There is someone out there for you right now. And we will find her. Or him. Her. Her, we'll start with tits.
I woke up with a dread of barbecue sauce in my hair. Drunk munchies makes me a disgusting person.
you just won the triple crown of sex! your prize is more sex.
Anybody can graduate from college sober. You try it while being stoned every day for the last three years. 2.75 baby.
Slept on the bathroom floor again. I hope when I turn 28 I’ll stop doing that
Randomize
