If immigrants and dwarves find love, why can't I?
never try to heat up a hot pocket in the dryer if ur microwave breaks...bad idea.
this is a mass text: i just made a grilled cheese with an iron and pasta with the coffeemaker in the hotel room. bow before your new god.
I've had enough of this chick, she wanted to cuddle after giving me a handjob. I feel like I'm in junior high
he has officially spend more money on me than any other boy. and its all gone to plan b. awesome.
I cannot believe how calm you were last night about telling Katie she was on fire.
I want to be done crawling through windows but the sex is too good to stop...but I'm running out of excuses for where the bruises on my legs are coming from.
hi sober isdnt real. this is a mass rtoomate taext i thing. bye
AMAZING.
I just kept screaming "I'm fucking a preacher's son!" Also, this water tastes like weed.
So what's today's forecast for the female rollercoaster you've been riding?
BTW the amount of schmoozing I am doing towards some guy for an ID that may or may not look like you... You better love me.
I was like can I please fuck your hips back into realignment
If you need to be the damsel in drunken distress make sure it's before 3.
I basically gave Miranda rights to the guy I hooked up with, jus so we were all clear what was happening
Giant stained glass jesus is judging my black pleather pants
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